Coming Clean About Tidying (Part 1)
26 Apr 2022|10 Mins Audio
Transcript
Speakers Names: Dr Victor Seah, Cynthia Chang
Speaker | Timecode | Transcript |
Cynthia | 00:27:00 | Hi, I'm Cynthia and welcome to the podcast. Like almost everyone else around the world. I've spent a lot of time at home these last two years, and I too have gotten bitten by the decluttering bug. So one of my colleagues is a KonMari consultant, and to support her, I attended an online workshop she gave. |
Cynthia | 00:45:00 | As a caregiver to a parent with dementia, I started decluttering because of the need for safety. But I must admit that once I got started, I really became hooked. And to my amusement, I found out that many of my friends and relatives also share the same urge to tidy their houses. This really piqued my curiosity. To find out whether there is more to this than just another fad. |
Cynthia | 01:07:00 | That's why I'm delighted to speak with Dr Victor Seah, Deputy Head of the Psychology programme at SUSS School of Humanities and Behavioural Sciences today. |
Cynthia | 01:16:00 | Thanks for joining us, Victor. So Victor, what do you think makes this organising and tidying trend so appealing? Why has it become a widespread movement? |
Victor | 01:23:00 | I suppose I'll start with a question, which is, where do you do your zoom calls? |
Victor | 01:27:00 | Is it messy? Well, I'm pretty sure it's not as messy as my study. So my study is an absolute mess. I'm slightly embarrassed, right? So I've got clothes hanging by the window, I've got old unused electronics gathering dust, and then there are piles of books and paper also gathering dust. So, for me, and I guess for many of us, organising and tidying is less of a trend and more of a necessity now. |
Victor | 01:53:00 | But on the note of the KonMari method, I actually came across this article, and it reported that KonMari consultants have doubled internationally during the pandemic. And really, if you think about that, it’s not surprising, right? Because the KonMari movement hits all the right topics of the day, you know, you can think of it as the methods for the times. |
Victor | 02:11:00 | So KonMari rides on existing sort of wider trends; preferences for minimalist design; worries about excessive consumerism. I think that's one. COP26, right, we have concerns about our environmental footprint. And then I think social media, obviously, you know, you can't escape images of a KonMari bedroom, for example. |
Victor | 02:30:00 | Then there’s COVID-19 with, as with everything, it’s affected everything, right? So, we've shifted our focus to our homes. Larger properties are selling better. We're all doing more housework. I don't know if you are, but I, you know, certainly am, and I like to think that many of us are embarrassed about our real zoom backgrounds. |
Victor | 02:48:00 | And I think the last point, really, is that COVID-19 has robbed us of our sense of control. And the KonMari method is perfect because it has rituals for organising the home and belongings. And so, it presents itself as a way to regain that control. |
Cynthia | 03:03:00 | What do you mean by that? What are some things that people have lost control of? |
Victor | 03:06:00 | I think the first thing we have lost control of is our independent fate. So whether or not you contract COVID-19, it is largely outside of your complete control. If you think about it, we're all in a big group, an ad-hoc reluctant group, and we need to depend on one another. |
VIctor | 03:22:00 | I'm a little paranoid before the pandemic. I'm even more paranoid now. So if I'm stepping into a lift, I've got so many thoughts in my head. Did the person exiting cover the mouth? You know, because you've seen people wear the mask and it covers the mouth but not the nose, and all those questions pop into my head. |
Victor | 03:36:00 | So I think the first thing we've lost is this sense of control over our independent fate. The next thing is this sense of certainty. I think we've lost that. When will restrictions come in again? When will restrictions be lifted? Will there be another round? How will they differ from the previous round? |
Victor | 03:52:00 | When can I throw my mum a belated birthday celebration? And worldwide, COVID-19 has been linked with increases in anxiety, depression, decreases in, psychological sustainability, changes in personality and really poorer quality of life. |
VIctor | 04:11:00 | And one thing that has really changed, I think, it shifted our locus of control outwards. So what is the locus of control? It’s this idea that we control the things that happen to us. If we have a very strong internal locus of control, then we believe that whatever has happened to us is really within our control. |
Victor | 04:27:00 | I think COVID-19 has sort of shifted that outwards a bit. And, that's troubling. For studies on locus of control, I think one really popular one that's often cited, is of nursing home residents. So residents in nursing homeswhere residents have control over the environment, they can move the furniture, they can move the sofa, they can move the television set, or they can change the orientation. |
VIctor | 04:46:00 | They might decide what painting goes on the wall. They have actually been found to live longer, live better lives and healthier lives than residents in nursing homes where they can’t control their surroundings. And then, there are two other things, seemingly at odds, that we've lost and these relate to positive psychology. |
Victor | 05:04:00 | You must have heard of “flow”. When we are already so engrossed in it, and we're really in the flow of things. And part of having flow is solitude, being able to work on your own and really be free of disturbances. I don't know about you, I've not been freed of disturbances for a very long time. |
Victor | 05:19:00 | I have two kids running around; my wife might be on a zoom call as well, or she might be on the phone; someone's cooking. It's just all very busy and noisy. So I've lost my “me time”, I've lost solitude and I've lost the ability to really get into the flow, right. |
Victor | 05:32:00 | You know, you're working on something and you feel like you're in a flow and then your child comes in. Yeah, you drop everything and then you attend to them and then you try to restart. So I think that's something we've lost — solitude. On the other end, I think we've lost a sense of community. That's one reason why there's this argument that we should be in the office to some extent. |
Victor | 05:51:00 | Being in the office means that you interact with your colleagues, you build that friendship. And it really gives us that sense of support. Studies have found that loneliness is as bad as cigarette smoking. And grades 2and 3 obesity. So I think COVID-19, if it means social isolation, it also means worsening health, mental and physical health. |
Cynthia | 06:12:00 | Wow. There are so many surprising impacts. Can you elaborate further on these impacts of the loss of control? |
Victor | 06:19:00 | Loss of control has been proposed as one of the reasons why many people apparently are quitting. We're in the middle of what is being called the “Great Resignation”, right. |
Victor | 06:26:00 | So, we're still trying to understand if that's indeed the case. Are people really quitting their jobs more than ordinarily? One reason, if that were the case, is really this inability to switch off from work. Last night before I slept, I was working. This morning, I woke up, I was working. It helps that I sort of enjoy my work. |
Victor | 06:45:00 | But we've lost a bit of the ability to switch off, I think, and that's really challenging because that leads to burnout. That leads to work-related stresses. But then on the other end of the spectrum, you have people who've been underutilised, right? |
Victor | 06:58:00 | Their skills have been underutilised. So if you were, say, in the tourism industry. The last two years or so haven't been good for you. You haven't actually been able to practise the skills that you've developed. So you haven't actually been able to tap on your competency. And I think that's really important. |
Victor | 07:13:00 | Because we all want to feel like we are doing something. We're contributing, we're using our strengths. And so, if you are in those industries, or you've been personally, you know, sort of work has been reduced, for example, you feel a sense of underutilisation. At the home front, work-family conflict, domestic violence, and marital dissatisfaction, all of this has been on the rise. |
Victor | 07:32:00 | And I think, quite sadly, you also sense that there’s a rising sense of xenophobia. This is really focused on COVID-19 infection — the threat of it from foreigners. I think one way to interpret this is that it is an act of displacement. So displacement is when we direct our frustrations and anger at other people who are a bit safer to direct on. |
Victor | 07:56:00 | So you had a bad day at work and then you come home and you’re an absolute monster, everyone avoids you. So that's an act of displacement. I think we are unhappier generally as a society, and it leads to a downward spiral. So what that means is that when we're unhappy, it narrows our thinking and we are more likely to interpret things in a certain negative light. |
Victor | 08:13:00 | And I think the extension of that is that we also have a limited range of responses. For example, you know, let's say if you've been wearing a mask all day and you've been out in the sun, it’s been hot and sweaty, and you're frustrated. But you know that it's important to keep your mask on and you do so, and you come across someone without a mask and it's very possible that you start thinking that way. |
Victor | 08:32:00 | Hold on. I've been putting up with all this all day. Why can't you do it too? And so that limits our interpretation, maybe the person is just, I don’t know, wiping their nose, you know, there're so many other possibilities. But because we’re in that state of mind, we interpret things in a certain way. And in doing so, we'd also limit our range of responses. |
Victor | 08:51:00 | So we might start thinking that they're inconsiderate. They don't even look Singaporean, maybe, I don't know if we talk about that xenophobia thing. Or you might post something on social media that you might regret later. So those are some of the really real world outcomes. |
Cynthia | 09:03:00 | So what you’re saying is that a negative frame of mind can cause some very surprisingly seemingly unrelated consequences with very far-reaching impact, right? |
Cynthia | 09:13:00 | It seems that some people seem to naturally deal with unexpected situations better than others though. |